Is This It?
Why so many women lie awake fearing this is all life has to offer and how that question might just be the crack where change begins.
Is this it?
It’s the question that lands when the world finally goes quiet; your body still working, but your mind already out.
Emails half-written. Washing half-done. The house is still, but you’re not.
And then it hits:
Is this it?
I’ll be honest: I’ve asked myself that question more than once.
For me, it was often in the dark, the baby finally asleep, my phone buzzing with work emails I didn’t have the energy to open, and that gnawing voice saying: is this really how it’s going to be now? A blur of exhaustion, never enough hours, never enough of me to go around.
And I know I’m not the only one.
I spoke to a lawyer recently who whispered the same fear:
“I’m terrified this is it. That my career will keep draining me, that motherhood will stretch me thin forever… and that somewhere in the middle, I lost me.”
She’s not alone. None of us are.
The truth about pressure
Society doesn’t exactly give mums room to breathe. We’re meant to be successful at work, endlessly patient at home, forever grateful for the life we’ve built.
But the pressure is crushing.
74% of working mothers carry the mental load, compared to 48% of dads.
Nearly 1 in 4 women in the UK say they can’t manage the stress and pressure of work.
92% of working mothers report moderate or severe burnout under pressure to excel in both roles.
We’re living inside a system that was never designed for us. One that praises our sacrifice, but punishes our honesty.
So when “Is this it?” shows up, it isn’t weakness.
It’s wisdom. It’s telling you something. Listen to it.
Three small shifts
Pause the autopilot. Notice how your body and mind feel in just one moment. Awareness is often the first crack of light.
Name the trade-offs. What’s costing you the most - energy, joy, time? And what are you not giving space to? Writing it down makes it impossible to ignore.
Find one safe space. A friend, a mentor, a circle where you don’t have to prove anything. A place to stop and just be.
Because “Is this it?” isn’t the end of the story.
It’s the start of a new conversation with yourself.
So maybe the real question is this:
What part of me am I no longer willing to settle without?
PS: This is why I do what I do from creating Mother Circles where mums can exhale, to mentoring women in male-dominated professions, to helping firms create cultures where women don’t have to choose between thriving and belonging.
If “Is this it?” has been echoing in your mind, you don’t have to wrestle with it alone.